no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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