i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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