Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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