wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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