fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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