Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
