I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
His hands were made for my vagina.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize