We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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