I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
