Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
