508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
