Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
