If that was your dad, he is hot
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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