he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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