I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
