A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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