That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I look better un-naked...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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