like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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