wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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