I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
