she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
