i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
