Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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