I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
