I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
