are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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