I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
