the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
