My sheets look like a crime scene.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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