I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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