Can Purell be used as lube?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
