I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
