worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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