I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How naked do you want me to be?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
