Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
