ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
