I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
