gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
