I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
