I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
