i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
