if you like me you must not know who I am
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
