Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
