YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
As shirtless as possible
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
