somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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