You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
