Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
