I just saw a hot homeless man
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
