got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
