I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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