so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
