Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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