4 words: hood of his car
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize