Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize