Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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