I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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