why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize