How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
